Bitch. Why the fuck has she done this to me? My mind's tainted with memories of her and I, unerasable, unforgettable. I love her. I miss her. I have to admit it, its hurt, more than anything i've experienced before. I'm lost. I wish I was a machine. Emotionless, never happy, yet never sad either. I find myself sending silent prayers to some imaginary higher order, willing the pain to pass, without relief.

Fortunately, answers are imminent, it seems I wasn't the guy from the start. A replacement? A temporary, replacement? Why bother telling me back then that you loved me? Why snag me in a net and caress my heart, if you're going to crush it in the end? What is love to you? A toy, subject of amusement, fun, hobby? I try to let it out, but I remain passive on the outside, yet splintering on the inside.

What does the future hold for me? Why is there reason to continue loving when such things happen to me when i'm willing to love? What am I doing? Some people think I only think of love and love alone. Some think that I don't bother with my studies. Some think I am all play without a shred of seriousness within me. Do I still call you friends now? I'm not an angel, I can't give without some wants of my own. I just want to be happy.

Matters in this department have never been good for me. It makes me start to wonder whether nice girls are a dying race. I'm very sure most of you would disagree with me, but I can't see the light- it doesn't shine on me, not on my dark spot. I don't want to love anymore. I really don't. But Alvin won't let me.

Save me..

- Alvin Foo
- 19 on 20
- UNSW '13
- Football
- Manchester United

Welcome to my secret sanctuary. My thoughts, wishes, visions, recorded in text and frozen in time.

This was actually my 4th choice of skin, changed for the coming of 2010! Yeah, the first 3 choices failed due to inactive image hosting. But it's okay, i'm pretty happy with this one too!

1) Look outside the box, look even at the things you weren't searching for.

2) Live life in harmony with your surrounding elements, live life without hate- only with love and acceptance.

3) Follow your heart, and never stray. Love your world; love your life, trust it- and life will return it in kind.

Eh, have I told you i'm almost always in love?

Danil
Darrel
Doovie
Ellen
Fatt
Jean
Khye-Ren
Krystine
Melanie
Melody
Nicole
Ryan
Sue Zen
Tai Yang
Victor
Yisan
Yi Tang
Ying
Ying Ling
Zhi Shan

Codes: Kathleen
Image: 'gilad of deviantART.
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